The Worst Selfie Fails – #4 Is The Most Awkward Thing I’ve Ever Seen
1. The “Show-You-My-Good-Side” Selfie
Any avid selfie taker knows that the very purpose of a selfie is to put your best asset(s) forward. Most of us know what our best asset is. For some it’s their eyes and others it might be their full set of lips that get them the most attention. The “show-you-my-good-side” selfie is performed by someone who knows what their best qualities are and mercilessly exploits them. If you are not getting admiration for your best assets then what is the whole point of taking a selfie in the first place?
2. The Bed Selfie
We all know those lazy Sunday mornings when you just don’t feel like getting out of bed but then realize it’s a great opportunity to show people how good you look when you’re casually in bed, without any make up and in your pyjamas. For some strange reason people also are becoming more and more obsessed to show how lazy they are!?
3. The Beach Hot Dog Leg Selfie
This is proof that not all selfies feature a person’s face and this is deliberately so because this point-of-view shot is designed to show off the scenery and make you feel green with envy. Here’s the thing, while your friends are back home grinding away at their jobs, freezing their asses off in winter cold weather, the last thing they want to see is your lovely time on a warm beach or poolside…. and that is precisely the very reason why you send it. What’s more delightful than enjoying yourself and having the most amazing time knowing that your friends are super jealous of your amazing life?
4. The Bathroom Selfie
A recent, and some might say ‘disturbing’ trend is the humble bathroom selfie. This is very odd considering that most of us spend so much of our time worrying about government agencies accessing our private data and records yet we willingly give up our most personal moments (in the bathroom) to the Internet for the whole world to see? Even if you disagree that the bathroom is a private place, why would it be the place of choice to share a photo with the world?
5. The “I-Eat-Therefore-I-Am” Selfie
Those of you that insist on taking pictures of everything you eat, listen up, no one, I repeat no one cares about what you eat. Why? because anyone with money or a credit card can order food. Ok so maybe you actually cooked that meal from scratch and that may be impressive but only if you’re cooking to Michelin star standards. Simply making beans on toast and then taking up valuable space on people’s FaceBook timeline with pictures of this is not ok, got it?
6. “Look I’m-at-The Gym” Selfie
Ok, so the gym selfie makes a little bit of sense because going to the gym is hard work and requires a lot of personal motivation and determination. So when you get some results it’s understandable that you want to share this with the whole world. But guess what? The whole world does NOT care. Despite what you might believe, going to the gym regularly and seeing results does not give you magical powers. If I haven’t convinced you yet, then take this point into consideration – the main difference between a ‘gym selfie’ and a normal everyday regular selfie is that there is a greater chance that there will be a more attractive person in the background of your selfie.
7. OMG “I-Met-a-Celebrity!!” Selfie
The sad thing about this is the person honestly believes this picture some how makes them special or appear to be “friends” with a celeb. But the truth is that every single celebrity can’t walk a few yards in public without being accosted by crazed fans demanding a selfie with them. So rather than making you look cool, it just makes you look like the type of person that would harass a celebrity for a selfie.
8. The “I-Don’t-Care-But-I-Really-Do” Selfie
If your selfie looks more like a “project” or “craft” instead of a single picture then you have a problem. You have gone to a lot of trouble to put this together and no amount of protests saying it only took you a few minutes will wash. If you’re not going to get a good grade from school or get paid handsomely then the collage selfie doesn’t seem to be a good use of your precious time? If you are the type of person that finds yourself drawn towards creating photo collage selfies, then put the camera phone down, take a long walk, and take a long hard look at your life.
9. The Duck face Selfie
The duck face selfie has come into popularity. It is when a person attempts to do a super model pout but lack the subtlety or finesse. Once selfies became popular (especially when celebrities started doing it) we realised it was a trend that is here to stay. It all stems from the popular cultural belief that attractive people have fuller pouty lips. Short of collagen injections, there is no way to make your lips look bigger without a ridiculous pout. Hence, the birth of the duck face selfie.
Remember, all monstrosities start with a sensible act….
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I would love to hear your thoughts…
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